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Is Gossip Girl good TV?
Would you rather . . .
Simultaniously set Blaire on fire and run her over with a truck
Give the G.G. producers a personal reinactment of John McCain's stay at the Hanoi Hilton, but without the happy ending
Join a Jihad against the CW, but immediately denounce your fellow Jihadists as moderates, and push for additional bloodshed
Just admit personal intellectual shortcomings, and continue to watch Gossip Girl but with a sponge strapped to your chin to catch the drool
When Gossip Girl comes on I . . .
get so excited that I soil myself
squeal at such a pitch that people around me suddenly suffer massive ear trauma
scan the room for sharp objects capable of poking out an eye
suddenly realize the logic in drinking poison cool-aid
I think Gossip Girl . . .
accurately emphasizes the value and life long benefits of being as shallow and catty as humanly possible
should be sent back to hell from whence it came
makes the Nazi practice of burning books perfectly sensible
reinforces my spirituality, becuase I can see clear, weekly evidience that the end of the world is coming
Watching Gossip Girl is most similar to...
being murdered by genital cheese-grating
living an entire life of unending horror in a single hour
playing Barbies with a demonically possessed child with down-syndrome
running naked through barbed-wire in an unsucessful attempt to escape tossing an inmate's salad
In my own words, Gossip Girl is . . .
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